I can't fall down now... not now...

just when i thought today will be a pleasant day since we didnt do anything much for GP.

bowling was great, get to showoff the skills i secretly learnt from observation of other bowlers, some more we practice using house ball which was what i had been doing for very long.
then i can bowl without guard le too.
i can also play default line and outside line using the left and right thumb rule...

and then bowling ended, blah blah...
and then i heard a piece of news that just sent me crumbling to pieces.

i said not to be emo le...
but...
if its not for this stupid body of mine, i would have cried already, but all i manage was just some swelling in my eyes and throat that refuse to come out...

So much have happened ever since then.
My ultimate goal was unreachable, i can only get near it, which was i have been doing.
and then i have to sacrficed it to become at least a decent person. and now that i have fail in achieveing wat i want, i realize i have become further away from my ultimate goal, really far le... almost impossible to reach...
and then the first impressions i give to new ppl that i meet, whether in class or some activities. i didnt do what i always did so as to appear mature, or at least like a guy and not some kid.
and then got so stress about it that i didnt go to school because of insonmia...

so now i have become further away from my ultimate dream, screwed the first impression people have of me and screwed up my school life.

all because of...

have been feeling better recently, which was why i started trying to climb back up.
and now...

but i can't fall down now, i can't fall down again, not that i have strive so hard to catch up. Even though i have not completely catch up... so i can't fall down now...

I want to cry...